Why Do I Keep Repeating the Same Patterns?

You can recognise a pattern and still find yourself living through it again. You may even catch yourself asking, “Why do I keep repeating the same patterns when I already know where they lead?”

Understanding what is happening is important, but awareness does not always change the response that follows. Sometimes insight alone is not enough – it needs to be worked through over time. Othe times deeper awareness is missing and we are not sure why it is happening. There can be a familiar feeling “this always happens to me”.

Why patterns repeat

Unaddressed pain, when it lives in the unconscious, always comes full circle.  We tend to repeat certain patterns and dynamics again and again as our psyche attempts to make conscious the experiences we have had in our lives in a vain attempt to re-do them and get them right. The unconscious can repeatedly recreate, seek out or unconsciously reproduce distressing relational patterns – even when we consciously wants something different.

Many patterns begin as ways of protecting ourselves or maintaining connection, like a response that once helped you feel accepted or secure that slowly becomes automatic over time.

A very common place this occurs is with repeating patterns in relationships. You may choose similar partners or silence the same needs without consciously deciding to do so. These unconscious patterns often feel familiar, too. Even when they leave you unhappy.

Why willpower can fall short

Willpower focuses on stopping the behaviour. It does not always address the fear or belief driving it, though.

So, if you keep wondering, “Why can’t I break this cycle?”, it may be because part of you still associates the familiar response with safety. Trying harder can then create frustration without reaching the reason the pattern continues.

A shamanic perspective

Kristy considers the emotional story behind a pattern as well as its possible spiritual significance. Within her shamanic practice, she may also consider ancestral influences or symbolic themes that seem connected to what is happening now.

Remember, these are spiritual frameworks rather than diagnoses. The purpose is to view the pattern from another angle and consider what it may be asking you to understand.

Beginning to shift the pattern

Learning how to break repeating patterns often begins with curiosity. Someone can genuinely hate a pattern while still being unconsciously organised around it. We are often repeating things we have not been able to put words to, symbolise or work through.  Getting deeper insights into the psychological and psycho-spiritual issues can help shift the repeating pattern by bringing more of it into conscious awareness.

Change can begin when you understand what the pattern has been protecting and start responding to that need with greater awareness. This gives more agency to choose differently.

Next step

If the same pattern keeps returning, read about Shamanic Healing or book a private session with Kristy in Ferntree Gully or online.