How to Reclaim Personal Power After Feeling Powerless
When you stop trusting your own judgement, other people's opinions can start carrying more weight than your own. Feeling powerless can mean staying quiet when something bothers you, continually looking outside yourself for answers, or allowing others to define what you should think, feel or become.
Difficult or traumatic experiences can also create self-defeating narratives that keep you stuck in disempowering stories of the past. Instead of seeing yourself clearly in the present, you may continue relating to yourself through the lens of what happened before.
How we give power away
We do not always give our power away in obvious ways. Sometimes it happens quietly and unconsciously, as an automatic nervous system response rooted in survival and safety.
We give our power away when we allow someone else's opinion to become more important than our own knowing. When we continually seek approval, even at the cost of abandoning ourselves. When we silence ourselves to keep the peace, or let go of our boundaries because we are afraid someone will be disappointed, get angry or leave.
We give our power away when we look to others to validate who we are, compare ourselves to others, or make others responsible for our sense of worth. And we give it away by remaining in situations or relationships that continually diminish us, because the familiar feels safer than the uncertainty of change.
Sometimes we give our power away through the stories we tell ourselves. If you find yourself asking, "Why do I self-sabotage?", old fears may be influencing your choices more than you realise
Why reclaiming power can feel frightening
Many of these patterns develop as ways of surviving difficult experiences. What once helped us cope can later become the very thing that keeps us from moving forward.
So you can want change and still feel afraid of your own power. Speaking up may change a relationship. A new boundary may disappoint someone. Learning to trust yourself means becoming more comfortable making choices that others may not understand.
Stepping into greater personal power can bring its own fears. What happens when you choose your authentic self over adaptation? What happens when you allow yourself to become more visible? There can be a profound vulnerability in becoming fully yourself
A shamanic perspective
Kristy sees personal power as much more than simply confidence. Coming into a healthier relationship with personal power requires a willingness to examine the psyche and soul, and to learn to distinguish between your authentic voice and the voices of others.
From a shamanic perspective, reclaiming personal power can mean reconnecting with your own spirit and calling back parts of yourself that have been lost through conditioning, fear or old patterns.
What reclaiming can look like
If you are wondering how to find yourself again, start by noticing where you silence your own instincts. Small acts of self-trust can help you reclaim your authentic self without forcing change before you are ready.
Try asking yourself:
"What do I actually want?"
"What matters to me?"
"What am I ready to change?"
"What am I continuing to carry that no longer belongs to me?"
These questions can become the beginning of a deeper relationship with yourself.
Reclaiming personal power may also mean that not everyone will accept your growth. When you begin living with greater authenticity, some people may respond positively while others may not. Learning to distinguish between relationships that nourish you and relationships that undermine you is an important part of personal empowerment.
Next step
Reclaiming power takes courage. It can require facing fears that have been operating beneath conscious awareness, and changing your relationship with people, beliefs, behaviours and identities that once felt familiar. If you are exploring self-trust and personal power, read about Soul Retrieval or book a session with Kristy.
